Personal Responsibility & Blame

Blame is projecting onto others, (pointing the finger at) what we have attracted into our lives for our growth and learning.

So what is blame?

  • Blame is victim-hood
  • Blame is projecting onto others and avoiding the learning
  • Blame is avoidance of accountability
  • Blame is giving your free will and personal responsibility away to someone or something else.

Our western laws are set up with this victim mentality, but that does not mean it’s the truth. The truth is that we are responsible for our thoughts, feelings, and actions in the world and there is no room for blaming in that equation. The idea of taking personal  responsibility for our thoughts, feelings & actions in response to any given situation is the most empowering , pro-active perspective we can have. It takes us immediately from the victim mode to the creator mode.

When you truly understand that the world outside of you is a reflection of the world inside of you, you may react with confusion about who is to blame for the problems in your life. If you had a tumultuous and difficult childhood, you may question the validity or soundness of taking responsibility for everything you have experienced. Furthermore, the same question arises for your current relationships.

We intuitively know that blaming others is the opposite of taking responsibility, but you may not understand how to take responsibility for that which you do not truly believe you are responsible for creating. You can blame your parents for your low self-esteem, etc. and you can blame your current partner for exacerbating it with his/her inconsiderate or lackadaisical behavior. This is the well-worn modus operandi of many people–albeit resolution to an issue is impossible. Albert Einstein’s statement, on insanity is

“Doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results,”

What you avoid taking responsibility for, is out of your control.

The fly in the ointment lies with the avoidance of taking responsibility for your life here and now. Whether you blame others or blame yourself, it is an aggressive and unkind act against oneself. It sets up a situation in which it becomes difficult, if not impossible, to move beyond the burdensome feelings of blame, shame and guilt that rest below the surface of consciousness–only to pop up when triggered by a similar experience. It also puts the resolution of your emotional pain into the hands of someone else rather than yourself. Ultimately, you cannot insist that someone else take responsibility for your feelings or actions, only you can make that choice when you are ready. Meanwhile, if you want to move forward with your life you need to accept personal responsibility for your life and take all situations into your hands.

Who is better at solving the puzzles of your journey, this lifetime


The most important step in taking full responsibility of one’s journey is to forgive those whom one blames–parents, partner, friends, colleagues, and all others.

“ Forgiveness is the key to happiness”

Gerald Jampolsky
author, of
“Love Is Letting Go of Fear.”

You can have the courage to end an abusive relationship with a partner, who may never admit wrong doing, because you are willing to take personal responsibility for how you allow yourself to be treated.

The bottom line is–love yourself enough to take responsibility for how you think, feel and behave. You deserve to love, be loved and create the life you know you deserve. Leave the resolution of the wrongs committed against you in the hands of the universe, releasing yourself to live life free of blame, shame and guilt.

These are my thoughts, please add your comments below.

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