Choosing Happiness Right Now….
It was commented to me that they didn’t feel that being happy was aÂ choice. They felt that no one decides to have a bad day – everyone starts the day choosing to be happy, but that things happen along the way that were out of their controlâ€¦ While I agree that things do happen to us that are out of our control, I would like to add though, that I disagree that no one decides to have a day other than a great one, I add that we just may not realize that we are making that choiceâ€¦
Unfortunately, I think we all, at times, choose not to have a happy day… Maybe not consciously, but subconsciously, as in when we choose to hold grudges, resentments, feel self-pity, etc. etc. That’s when we are choosing through our thoughts and attitudes to have a bad day… for how can one have a great day when they are mired in self-pity, or seething with anger, resentment, and thoughts of revenge???
So while you may not get up saying “today, I choose to have a lousy day”, if you get up saying things to yourself like “I wish I could tell my boss to take this job and shove it”, or “this or that or so-and-so really drives me crazy”, or some other negative thoughts or feelings, then, in short, you are choosing to have an unhappy day.
Anytime we choose anger, frustration, resentment, blame, guilt, etc. etc. we are choosing to have a “not happy” day…
Anytime we spend our time with our “inner chatterer” complaining about this and that, or about someone’s behavior, or about any other thing that gets on our nerves, we are choosing unhappiness over happiness.
Anytime we choose to “get even”, or “talk behind someone’s back”, or do or say anything maliciously, we are choosing unhappiness.
Now of course, I am not encouraging you to become a doormat and to accept behavior that is unacceptable. Rather I am suggesting that we take a closer look at how you react, and at how you may carry your anger and resentment along with you for days and days.
Here are certain behaviors to look out for: We choose to hold a grudge. We choose to remain angry. We choose to resent someone’s behavior. We choose to “show them” who’s boss. We choose to “pout”. We choose to delay forgiveness to “teach them a lesson”, etc.
A lot of times we react unconsciouslyâ€¦ we simply react without giving any thought to our reactionâ€¦ We just react in anger in the spur of the moment, later to regret our words and actions. If we were conscious of our thoughts before we let them be translated into actions and words, then many things could remain unsaid.
When we are in conscious mode, we seek to understand rather than just react from hurt, resentment, and frustration. We take a few additional seconds to look at the situation from a “higher” perspective. Perhaps that rude driver who cut you off has a personal emergency, perhaps he just got fired and is reactingâ€¦ The understanding doesn’t make a situation “right”, but it helps us react differentlyâ€¦ After all when we get angry or upset, we are the ones the anger affects the most. We end up with a headache, or heartburn, or an ulcer, or cancer, or simply feeling unhappy in general.
The key remains in “being aware” or conscious of our thoughts before we let them become words and actions. When we examine our thoughts as they “come up”, we can make choices as to whether that is something we want to “turn into concrete reality” for ourselves. This is an ongoing process. It is not a decision that you make once and then can forget about. It is rather a decision that is made with each thought each minute of the dayâ€¦ And the great thing is that there is always a next chance to choose again. So even if you choose resentment today or this morning, as soon as you become aware of your choice (your mood), you can make a different choiceâ€¦ It is really simple, but it necessitates a willingness to let go of “being right” and of self-pity, self-righteousness, and all those things..
Yes, we sometimes tend to get “self-righteous” when we think we are right, and that stops us from choosing peaceâ€¦ But, since it is our choice, whatever we choose is okâ€¦ We can always choose differently, next timeâ€¦And the next time is always now.
Happiness is simply choosing to let go of the need to be right